Make Your Home Your Haven


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When I moved in to any apartment, it was the same routine: many of my boxes stayed packed and nothing went on my walls. That’s just the way it was. I didn’t feel like putting up any pictures or paintings or anything. I thought I might move again in the near future, so what was the use? It was a waste of time.

When I look at my history, my personal experiences, which evolved into my beliefs, I start to understand why. As a family, we moved every two years or so; sometimes every few months. I never stayed in the same school when I was young, but as I grew older I was able to travel enough to stay with my friends. We just didn’t have a lot of money. We made due, and we moved to when it made sense for us to do so. I guess I’ve taken that mentality, that expectation, with me for many years, even when I start to settle in to my own place after several years.

I’ve written about how I felt in other people’s places before, where there was warmth on the walls, photos, words of positive expression, creative wonders. It made me feel safe, warm, like I was home perhaps. Even as I never put things up in my home, the home that I grew up in was full of pictures and paintings, and every inch was used to express the history of our family.

It finally dawned on me to make a change, so, I started to create a space where the walls echoed what I desired to see in my life. They started to show me the fun times, the history of my son as he grew, some of my travels, and things that I connected with on a personal level. There are sayings and vision boards, and colourful expressions that remind me of my creative self, and the people I love in my life.

There it stayed for a time, and I liked it, but it was still a mash-up of a bachelor life and a desire for something greater, until I felt the time to move forward yet again, just recently. Now is that time when I have renewed my effort to create something even more special in my apartment that say it’s more than just a living room, it’s where I connect with others and myself.

I envision two couches facing one another: one a love seat for those I love to share it with, and one a full couch for me. Imagine, if you will, that they are placed near my patio sliding door for natural light, next to the heater for winter warmth. Sitting in the couch would be such a sensation as you nestle in to the half a dozen fluffy pillows that surround you, then sink your toes into the deep shag rug while you pull that ever so soft throw around your shoulders. The feeling of being softly covered, of protected in a way and wrapped in a bubble where you can let go of your stresses and worries and simply absorb all the good vibrations. That’s a good space!

Immediately adjacent to the sitting area our tea sits ready, steaming from a well used Japanese kiln-fired teapot, and two hand crafted pottery cups await our favourite flavours. In the background you catch the soft chimes of a water fountain while the soothing smells of lavender are relaxing your nerves. Did you just slip deeper into your seat? I think so.

Sitting face to face, we submerge our minds into a deep, satisfying conversation knowing that should either of us need to write down an idea, books, pens, and paper are situated close by to catch every single drop one. Our body may drift off to sleep, or we might become transfixed in our new book, but whatever the case, there remain plenty of options beside the old standard movie.

This face to face area is my Haven, my connection area that speaks not only to me but to my guests in a way that is comfortable to the body, mind, and spirit. Surrounded by visions of meaningful images and words, and plants, it gives me the sensation that I need to move from that spot, that all is well, that all is okay, and all are welcome to share it with me.

Whether in meditation contemplation, reflective thought, or conversing with a welcome guest, this is the place I envision creating to not only sustain me, but to enhance my spiritual and mental growth from within. This is my Grotto, my open Cave, my Haven.

This is a step beyond what I put on my walls and what I see. It really is the follow up to the rest of the sensations within me that ask for a greater connection with self.

In these times of stress, limited time, rushing around and errands, I used to feel like getting away, escaping in a movie, or finding solace in other ways. Now I am excited to create a special place in my otherwise ordinary apartment that is meaningful, lush, comforting, and as special as any getaway as I could imagine indoors!

I hope you can create a special place of your own that not only sustains you, but enhances your life in a special connective way for your own benefit and for those you chose to invite to it.

This is my winter task, and I am excited to create it step by step! I’ll keep journalling about all the steps I take as time progresses. May you find your own Haven no matter where you live.

Let Your Inside Out


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Life can be a struggle. It can be hard to adapt to new conditions. It can feed off our energy until it runs dangerously low, but if we are aware of what’s happening, often we can adapt, shift, and change our perspective to one of opportunity and challenge.

There is no good time for something other than right now. Have you ever felt something but never said it out loud? Have you suffered by keeping a thought to yourself because you never found the right time, or the right way to say something that could be seen as negative or indelicate? Now is that time. What comes out is what you say.

Can you deal with some mess in the spirit of communication? Can you agree that the first time your try it, that it might be wrong, that it might be construed differently that the way you anticipated it? Can we say that failure will be our greatest teacher? Attempt to fail many times and you will ultimately succeed!

That feeling in your gut that you get when you are in the middle of an uncomfortable situation is your body saying you are not living the true you. There is something yet uncovered inside of you that is literally bursting to come out!

I have spent a lot of effort on communication over the last couple years and it is really paying off. It’s been hard work learning what works for me, what works for others, accepting issues and failures, but always being willing to come back to the table and work things out has been key.

We are all adults right? So, lets treat each other like adults and not children and speak the truth to one another. Let’s be bold enough to be vulnerable in that truth and open with no shields up. Here it is, that is my truth, and I am vulnerable in telling it to you. That is courageous! That is bold and uncompromising!

In speaking it, we must remain aware of the power of the words we choose, and so much of what we attempt to say can be thwarted by the choice of the words we use to describe what we feel, and what we mean. Use your words carefully that describe only you. After all, it is only you that you want to share with another person. It is only you that reacts. Only you that needs to share. Only you that seeks validation, acknowledgement, clarity, and understanding. So share that part of you.

After cleaning house of my online environment so it reflects a more personal view of the world I desire to see, I am calmer. I have spent quality time with my family this summer and feel more connected. I have rekindled a connection with my son. I spend time with cherished friends. I have a wonderful, deep, connected relationship with my co-pilot of life that challenges me in every way to be a better person, and to seek the best in others, and find ways to share all I know, and what we have learned together with everyone I can.

I am so excited to start the process of bringing everything we have jointly learned to the public soon. It all comes in time, at the right moment. Our intentions are set, the attention is being given, and it rushes forward to meet us even now, and when it does we will be ready.

I love my role as a teacher so much. I want to break the mould of a traditional teacher and find ways to connect with my students on a more holistic level, to help prepare them for the real world as a human being, not just an engineering wizard. This too shall come. I will continue to explore the process of engagement until the right combination of approaches work. I love this journey!

My focus now turns inward. I have successfully surrounded myself with the people I desire to interact with and now I am choosing to look deep within. I want to recreate myself in the image I have in my mind. I want to become that which I know I am. I want to let go of my ego, of the thoughts of who I am and BE. Resurrect the being inside that gave me the uncomfortable gut feelings before I could speak up. I want to pull that essence from deep down inside the mud of my core, deep in the ocean of my senses, up to the surface.

Like the Sea Lion that stirs up the mud of substance to be given to the Raven who creates with it, I too will be recreated with less constraints, more wholeness, and less external agreements.

In doing so I will need to ground myself to my environment even more deeply than I have so far. I have come a long way from having no desire to cover my walls in anything, to having them full of images of life, sayings, positive words and phrases, and cultural vestiges that remind me I am but one in a world of many. I have come far, but need to dive deeper to create a nest, a Shangri-La, a haven.

I want it to be a place of deep grounding, where one can enter and feel completely safe to shed their external and internal layers, and be exposed in the warmth of understanding, communion, connection.

Couches facing one another next to natural light, plants that caress the ceiling and soften the edges. Books everywhere in nooks, and a place for tea and for being still. Areas to work on life’s challenges and soul stirring imagery of the Joie de Vivre!

This will be my focus this winter. Me and my space. Bringing it all home. Collapsing the circle to the centre of self, then re-expanding it outward to all when the time is right.

I had a dream last night that a sea lion kissed me in the ocean, then surrounded me while many other joined in. I felt alive, joyous, special, recognized, acknowledged, intimately joined, and I couldn’t help but think that it was somehow reflecting the steps I have taken in my life to be a better soul. To be the hero that I dream about, read about, want so badly to see walk the steps outside with me. That was truly a wonderful dream.

The journey never ends. Challenges never cease. What we do to observe the situation within and external to us is key in our awareness of self and allowing the full expression of who we are to come out in whatever form it may first take is paramount in the first tentative steps of giving a voice to who we really are.

Be who you are by listening to your inner voice and taking steps to let it sing. Do whatever steps you need to realize your full potential. I guarantee it will blow your mind!Inner and Outer

The Lightness of Being


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Light anyone?

I know it’s dark out there in the ‘real world’, but it doesn’t have to come home with us. The negative head space is rampant. It’s a sad, cruel world out there, right? Or is it?

Some would say it is. They make their living on it. It doesn’t sell, they say. Ugly, scary, fearful stories sell, attract people, get people talking, they say.

How are they? Why do we listen to them?

Well, I stopped watching television about six years ago. I think that really helped to free my mind. I would watch the news and that’s when they spoke most often. They spoke in advertisements. They were a part of my lessons and a part of my desires, and fantasies. They were speaking to me every day.

I stopped watching the news, and that made me feel more comfortable. I mean, when I thought about the community I lived in, and thought about the changes I saw here at home, they were few. They were measurable, and I could relate to them easily. Would my day be better, or would I live better knowing about the wars or negative stories around the world? They happen. They have always happened, but now I know about it. What difference has it made to me?

It has made me fearful. Scared about other people and their motivations. Wary. That’s not the community I live in, not is it the community that I want to live in. If I was going to be a productive positive member of the neighbourhood, I needed to make some changes in my environment. That was step one.

I was still watching TV documentaries and enlightening programs, but often the ads were stacked in the beginning of a popular show or movie. Finally, I got so mad that I was watching more advertisements in the first ten minutes of a program than the actual program, I cancelled my cable.

If I want movies I will get Netflix or some other service to give me what I want. A life almost free of advertising is quite nice. I feel calmer; more in control of my feelings. I feel more positive. I think freely more often.

I recently started ‘un-liking’ several news agencies on my Facebook news feed. This is my most recent step to minimize their exposure. The time of FB is meant to be with friends and family, and I don’t want that feeling to be interrupted by the negative press and all the vitreous comments that go with it.

The next step is to unfriend those that do this personally. I ask myself if what I post will lift people up or not. If it doesn’t, if I am even wavering on it, I will not post it. I want to be a light in a world, in a society that casts a pall of darkness on us. The news outlets are run by those that profit from big money ventures, and that is fear, war, politics, and capitalism. I know that. It’s classic capitalism at it’s finest, or worst, depending on your perspective, so I get the motivation to make it that way. It doesn’t mean I need to accept it.

I choose light over dark. I choose to say nice things to people that are genuine because I know it’s rare and their is value in it. I endeavour to listen to understand before I respond.

Some like sarcasm. Some like to warn us of things, many of which are myths. Few build us up. Those that do are valuable and I build them up too. The time I spend on the computer at home is valuable to me. I am giving it my full attention. It will be the environment that I create for myself, or I will not go there.

We all have the power to create the environment we need in order to feel happy, unrestricted, free. To some people the changes I have made in my personal life may sound drastic, but I have read more books in the last few years than ever and I feel more genuinely enlightened by the various viewpoints I can hold on to at once than I ever did before.

I may not know who did what the next day, or what country was invaded next, but I do know what store is in my neighbourhood, I think about ways to engage my neighbours, I get outside more often, I feel happier about life, and I love talking to people…about anything.

The internet and any social network that people may use is highly customizable, just like your real friends list. Take advantage of it and make it the best experience it can be for YOU. I know I will.

This reminds me of a great article I read about leaving (can’t find the link). Be ready to leave anything…a movie you paid for [you can often get a full refund before 20 minutes is up], a conversation that goes nowhere, a circle of friends that does not build you up, a course that isn’t what you thought, a bad lecture, a relationship that holds you back. By the same token, give your heart to what you do believe in, or who you believe in, and fight for them, shout in their corner, support them furiously.

Creating a custom online experience is a part of taking back control of your life for the person you aspire to be. That’s always a journey, so make the journey your own. Make it personal, and make it exactly what you want it to be. It will give you the positive feedback you need when you hit those all too frequent stumbling blocks, or um, teachable moments we all get.

A good friend told me that whenever she becomes aware of a negative or judging thought, he immediately thinks of what she is grateful about. When you put your mind to a thought that is grateful, perhaps for being witness to something negative that reminds us about what we have in life, we lose all negativism. Our mind calms. We gain perspective, and we change our body chemistry for the better. That’s what being a beacon is all about. Be a beacon not just for everyone else, but for yourself too!

PS, those that know of the book or film, The Unbearable Lightness of Being, (author: Nesnesitelná lehkost bytí) may see a link to being a source of light, and living the one life we have to live; the lightness theory.

Values versus Beliefs

Paul Butterfield:

Learning about beliefs and values is a journey we could all benefit from.

Originally posted on Inspire Your Mind, Body & Spirit:

I came upon this question today, and mean to sort this out by means of this post for those that may be interested. Often I have seen these terms, beliefs and values, used interchangeably in the Mission or Values Statements of organizations, however my guts tells me they are not the same. Naturally, I went wandering through the internet to have a look.

Jodi asked me what my values are. ‘Good question’ I thought. I could’t recall a time that the question was put to me, or I actively thought about it. Often one value or a conflict may come about regarding beliefs in general, but thinking about it with no real context is a perfect question. It made me think.

First, lets look at some definitions.

Belief is the state of mind in which a person thinks something to be the case, with or without there being empirical evidence to prove…

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Celebrate Your Complexity


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Much of our popular world tries to boil down ideas to top ten lists, black and white, this or that. We love to label, describe, analyse, and understand complex systems in simple terms. Many times people try to nail down the complexity of the human condition and the infinite wonder of our mind, into a textbook, a thesis, a simplified solution set, but there is a negative consequence of only seeing only that side of us.

We are magnificent beings, full of mystery yet to be discovered, and I wonder aloud many times, what is it that we need to uncover? What do we need to simplify? What boundaries are we searching for?

To what end is the search for limits in a boundless universe?

I contend that we are in fact complex, boundless, beings capable of so much more than we could ever imagine. If one person grew up from inception to adulthood with no limits, no records of achievement of other people to box in what we perceive is possible, what would that person be like? How would they talk? how would they act?

We spend an inordinate amount of time and energy avoiding fearful events. That may have served us many years ago, and our brain may not have yet evolved beyond it, but are we not holding it there, happy to avoid the fear we imagine?

In fact, the avoidance of fear is a pitfall, a trap that will have us looking at the world in an adversarial mindset. It will pit us against them, will strike up negative feelings when the ‘world’ lashes out at us, and we will make excuses for why that happened. We will strive to do better, to be more prepared, to see the causes of that event and prepare against them, expanding our fear, not reducing it.

Fear does not like to feel fear, it is afraid of it in fact (see The Untethered Soul by Michael A. Singer, page 71). This struggle in life is one of nonacceptance, of strife, and it is uncomfortable for you and I and everyone around us. We have defined our life by what keeps us safe, and we have missed the bountiful life that surrounds us in its entirety.

In our attempt to keep us safe, a seemingly good task, we have doomed us to a sliver of reality and paranoia. One way to release our grasp on the phantom tiller of the ship that takes us through our life’s journey is to let it go. We have no real control what happens to us, so why pretend?

When we let go of the sense of control, something wonderful happens: we breathe easier. The tenseness inside us subsides, and colour begins to flow back in to our unrestricted veins. Let me give you a concrete example.

Picture a commuter in a car heading to work in the morning. Maybe this is what you do, maybe you get up early to avoid the rush hours, to avoid all the traffic, but for many people in North America it is a daily routine. We spend our lives driving here and there in the most efficient way possible, by finding the best route, by listening to the radio for any accidents or congestion, we may even look at the news before we leave our home for that last bit of info. We are waging a war on the traffic, as if it is an organism that must be beaten every day. We take control with our hands around our steering wheel and weave our journey feeling in absolute control of our route to work.

Do you think that person is relaxed or tense? Wouldn’t you rather relax, read the newspaper, and gaze out the window while on your way to work or school? Many people have traded in the commute by car for a commute by train or bus for just this reason. They have decided to move close to work to reduce that stress in their lives. they have decided to give up on that control of holding the steering wheel for an entirely different way to get to work.

The feeling when you are a passenger, if you can relax as one, and a driver is completely different, even if you are in the same vehicle.

When we get stuck in thinking there is only one way to live, we oversimplify our life’s apparent choices. We tend to work within our self defined limitations without looking at the more holistic view of how we live our life.

Feeling fearful and working to subdue the universe in order to ‘feel safe’ is one such journey of holding the wheel of life and creating a binary version of life, when it was meant to be so much more.

We are complex beings. We feel so many emotions. Have you ever been at a loss for words about just how you feel? Have you felt more than one emotion at one time? Have you felt a rapid shift of emotions as a scene unfolds in front of you? Could you imagine communicating that to someone if they asked “How do you feel?”

We are more like this cyclical relationship that constantly changes depending on our present viewpoint and ever-changing perception of reality. How can we contend with the seemingly merciless barrage of feelings that we are subjected to every day?

First of all, I would tell myself it’s okay to be this way. It’s okay to feel a multitude of feelings all at once, and we can express that to the best of our ability. A great way to deal with situation if another is asking about you is to say “I am feeling various emotions right now, and I would like to sit with them for a moment to see which ones stay with me”

In time the emotions that are most reflective of our inner struggles will stay with us. we need but enjoy the myriad of emotions and bodily feelings that our being was gifted with. We have an incredible diversity of feelings that we need not discern to the nth degree, that we need not understand all aspects about in scientific terms, we need only realise that they are a beautiful readout of where we are right then.

They tell us where we are on the journey of enlightenment, like maps to where we could put some thoughtful energy. Do you need to know what a feeling is called in order to feel it? No, you need but sit with it and befriend it, asking yourself why it is choosing to reveal itself to you at this moment. In feeling it, it talks to you and says more than any textbook.

We have been given a beautiful array of feedback mechanisms that will guide us to our ultimate destiny if we can see them, feel them, sit and relax with them. In doing so we can be less concerned with how to name them, and more aware of what they mean to show us.

I strive to no longer filter my emotions, nor attach myself to them, or hold back what I feel, or try to stay calm in all situations like a stolid silent archetype of days gone by, but as a real, living, breathing human being that is exceedingly open, sensitive, and complex, just like you.

Warning: Living this kind of life will take time to master, but it will be joyous, fun, and can bring about the wondrous feeling of the magic of youth!

Atonement = At One Ment


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I heard this definition of atonement from Joseph Campbell. It is a critical step to understanding the journey of our self, the hero we always bear within us. The sense of releasing the Ego in order to attain it is fascinating, and it makes this all the more important.

The traditional sense of atonement that I think of is one reflective of religious beliefs; an act of atoning for one’s sins. However, when viewed from the origin, or etymology, of the word itself, we can see that it comes from the sense of unity. That may be exactly the same thing, but it feels different to me, probably because I have limited religious knowledge.

atonementWhen I think of reconciliation of a wrong, or reparation, I can see it as an action whereby a person attempts to reunite oneself with the wronged or slighted. To bring us back to the unity of friendship or whatever level the past relationship held. In doing so we see the act in the fullness of a greater lens; a more holistic picture.

If we see this as a cycle of the heroes journey, as it relates to this, it is the closing of the circle, the last step to reaching the point where the journey began and the injury was started. In bringing ourself back to this point, we can visually see that we are uniting ourself once again with that person. Our understanding is unified.

Atonement not only requires us to review our deeds and actions that may have slighted others, but also our relationship to others, perhaps even what that other person means to us.

Why is it important?

One reason is accountability. If we cherish a strong moral and ethical character, we must rectify the wrongs we have done. We need to answer for them, so we can close the loop, let those affected by it understand our new intentions, and learn to deal with the next situation in a better manner. It’s growth of character and how we can choose to evolve in to a better person, which serves everyone.

Wrongs stick to us. Our past events of transgression, whatever they may mean to us tend to stay with us unless we can clear them by righting them with whom we wronged. By asking for forgiveness from them, they may allow us to let go the sense of negative karma we might feel. Sometimes we can’t let go until the other person says it’s all right and we have made amends.

This is likely where the false belief of forgiveness comes in, where we feel we can hold that feeling of negativity with the wrongdoer if we do not forgive them, as if we are casting a spell on them. That is absolutely false. It only enslaves us to the past, and casts our mind from the present at every moment that the environment reminds you of it.

The reality is that we can absolve our self if we truly feel we have learned from our wrongs, even if they will not forgive us; we can forgive ourselves. This then means the one that does not forgive only holds on to their dark thoughts and lives clouded by it until they decide release it.

To close the circle brings us back to the start, so to speak, of where the wrong happened. By unifying our desire to right our wrong, to bring about personal growth and clarity of purpose, we seal off the deed, closing the file, so both parties can move forward, releasing the mindful links to the past to where it belongs.

One important aspect that I think of as I write this is the fact that we have no control over much of our life. The person we wronged may be taken from us, or we may be taken from them at any moment. I’m sure this happens quite often, that we haven’t made peace with our neighbour, our friend, our parent, our sibling, or loved one.

If you are holding on to a sense of anger, hurt, jealousy, or any other poisonous emotion toward another person, who is it serving? If you have some acts that you need to release, seek those you may have hurt out. Become one with them by a shared understanding to end all sense of conflict and move forward, before the opportunity escapes you forever.

At one ment is a beautiful word. Unity, to unite, to close the loop, this satisfies our brain and allows us to progress in the present moment, unencumbering our minds from the past. It’s a beautiful, freeing process.

Myth of the Strong Silent Type


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Growing up as a young man in the eighties and nineties I was fascinated by the strong, silent leading man type of character I saw in movies.  I was quite a movie fan and I enjoyed spending much of my indoor time watching shows on television from the early black and white movies that featured John Wayne, Henry Fonda, and Kirk Douglas among many others.

Whether it was a medieval story like Spartacus with Kirk Douglas leading a valiant effort to fight for freedom, or John Wayne protecting damsels in distress, they used their actions to speak for them, and they were the epitome of strength; they were the heroes of their day.

As time ticked forward I grew in to a young man and started to go to the cinema, or movie theatres, more often. The leading characters started to shift to more modern leading men like: Clint Eastwood as he transitioned from westerns and the Dirty Harry character to an adventurous modern day leading man in Every Which Way But Loose (1978) and a military elite in Firefox (1982), Arnold Schwarzenegger in The Terminator series (1984+), and Bruce Willis in the Die Hard series (1988+).

The movie trend didn’t just show conflict in dramatic fashion, it also started to include humour and there are many examples of Arnold and Bruce quipping to the bad guys.  Situational humour started coming more mainstream with Beverly Hills Cop and Romancing the Stone, both of 1984. So a humorous, strong, relatively quiet leading man was really the ‘cherry on top’ of the leading character in my eyes.

In these times, I really believed everything that I saw. As I look back, there wasn’t any reason to think that a man that listened to his senses, that showed his feelings, that broke out of the mould I had witnessed since I was a young child, could be just a capable, strong, and charismatic; but maybe I just didn’t watch those movies.

To me, as a youth, I believed that in order to grow in to become a strong man I had to epitomize strength, not only on the outside, but also on the inside.  This meant that showing emotions and feelings were viewed as a sign of weakness; a lack willpower and control.

Certainly there were other role models, like my stepdad, who also portrayed much about the strong, vastly intelligent, action oriented man.  My mother, who gave much of her heart to anyone who needed a lift or any help at all, but my focus was film.  That’s where my imagination flew, my intention started, and my attention fuelled my desire to be the iconic representation of what a real man was. Poor me!

Let’s just say that character influences I grew up with as a young man didn’t serve me so well in my early ‘real’ relationships.  The strong silent type never gave me clues on how to address conflict in a marriage, didn’t show me how to deal with my conflicting senses when my gut said one thing and my mind another, and my heart yet something different.  I was pretty much clueless, and I felt like a person who just realized all they really knew about being a person was a lie.

This was the start of my journey to search my feelings, to slowly, very slowly in fact, find my voice and reconnect with who I really was.

I say reconnect because when we are young kids, we are who we think.  We portray our emotions quite candidly on our face and in our eyes.  It’s only after we start to hurt, that we begin to protect ourselves from that experience again and hide how we really feel to others.

It’s taken me decades now to uncover the strength and beauty of understanding the power of knowing your self. Not just the mindful self, but the emotional, feeling, bodily self that makes up a vast array of senses that remain attuned to the environment around us.

Science has been able to uncover some of the mysteries of the environment that we see and that goes to our head. First, light enters our eyes and that information is delivered to our brain, then our brain deciphers a very small percentage of what we see and passes that info on to our mind; there is simply too much information to decipher it all at once. Then our mind, which is the sense of self inside our brain, attaches meaning to what it sees. (read Buddha’s Brain by Rick Hansen for more details)

This is the information we typically make decisions with, but we are still missing a host of other real data.  Naturally, what our mind sees creates a biochemical reaction within our body.  This reaction to the five senses of our head is but a small part of the real environment, but our body, with it’s blanket of nerves cells sensing minute changes in the air, temperature, vibrations, and energy that we don’t ‘see’, but we can feel, holds enormous stores feeling related information.

If you want to see a real scientific study in to what vibrations that came from thoughts did to water crystals, just look at this video that documents Dr. Masaru Emoto’s experiments.  Here is his website.

Have you ever met a person your were keenly attracted to for no apparent reason? How about the opposite; a person that repulsed you, that you felt in danger from, that you wanted to stay away from? Was that immediacy of your feeling from some visual cue, or a gut reaction?

Many times we may think about our past and sense a disconnect between what we felt, and the decision we made. “My gut has always been right” we might say to ourselves, and I have often felt that way.

No matter what we might see in popular movies, television or any other media, we need to understand that the strong, silent type of character is a myth.  It is a character type that takes in what we see and hear and applies supreme importance to them alone.  It forgets about all that other information the body has to share.  It dismisses it, and for that, it is shallow, judgemental, quick to react, and substantially naive about the environment that surrounds us. In fact, it is a weakness.

When we understand hat information in today’s world can be loosely translated to power, why would we want to disconnect from the access to information our body willingly gives us?

This is OUR body after all trying to communicate to OUR brain.  Why would we want to stop it?  It wants to serve us, to protect us, to tell us what it found out.

We need to understand the nature of communicating with our body in such a way to become aware of the response to visual stimuli, and accept the information that it senses itself, the vibration from other people, the ‘sixth sense’ we receive in the form of our gut feeling.

This isn’t like the ‘voice’ we hear telling us to not do something in our heads, that is a form of the mind that tries to warn us that there is a significant gap between our upcoming decision and the action we are contemplating.

Now, we can be fooled if we listen to everything we hear from our body. Certainly that chocolate looks good, and maybe one more slice if pizza would mmmmm, just be divine! But that’s a part of the body that has collaborated with the rational fast talking sly aspect that wants to give us all we desire, and will find all the ways to justify it.

What I’ve learned over the last 30+ years is that strength comes not from your muscles, not from your actions, but from the words you say, from the time you take to listen, and from the feelings you can discern that connect you to the immense and powerful universe.

Those that espouse the mind-body-spirit connection are heralded as leaders in a new world, like Eckhart Tolle, Deepak Chopra, Oprah, Joe Dispenza, Bruce Lipton, Tony Robbins, Wane Dyer, and many others.

I for one am glad that I have finally become settled in what I define as a strong, powerful, leading man, and it has very little to do with the image that I grew up with, and everything to do with how I make people feel, and how I feel. Thank goodness we can break free from our past perceptions and create a new perspective that aligns with wherever we find our true centre, our natural inclination, and source of joy and peace.

No More Worries.


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Ohh, I used to dwell in the past, and worry about the future so much!

Especially if I was dating someone.  Did they like me?  What would our next step be?  What should we do this weekend?  Then there were just the general thoughts: Where was my life heading? Should I do this or go for that? Am I in the right career? Did I say something wrong at the party?  Then I would berate myself for various things I decided I did wrong.  My head would simply spin, spin, spin if I let it.  When would I ever get a chance to relax??

With so many decisions and thoughts whirling in my head all the time, I didn’t have time to appreciate ‘right now’.  That’s right, THIS moment that we are living right this instant.  I didn’t even know when ‘now’ was.  It simply wasn’t here.

There is so much about right now that I had never thought of, or more accurately, stopped to contemplate.  Right now, this present moment, is really all we have to work our magic with.  It’s the only time we are in full control, or have any real control.  If we are lost in the past, or trying to control the future, we are living a life of delusion; a fantasy world and life!  The reality of it is tat we have absolutely zero control over anything but this crazy thing called this very moment.  This one, and thins one, and this one, and nothing else.

We could die in the very next one, so why would we ever think beyond it? Naturally I am focussing my argument on the in-between thoughts, that don’t concern planning our lunch for tomorrow or showering or paying taxes…all the things we need to do in order to live in our law abiding society.  But our thoughts in between all those tasks, those we need to start shaping to our end, and not the other way around.

This makes we wonder about ‘time’.  Is it natural?  I mean what did people do before the concept of time was created? Certainly, the stars were a much more important source of information than they are to us now, who live in cities that barely allow any starlight to filter down to us at night.  I have only been under the clear skies twice in my life and I must say, I was Blown Away at just how the natural night sky looks!  It is absolutely majestic!

I can imagine people used the location of the sun in the daytime, and there were probably a few sundials around, or fence  posts and so on to tell approximate time with, but were they as obsessed as we are today?  No way.

I can imagine them very much in the moment.  Dealing with time pressures insomuch as crop harvesting, tending new animals, feeding time, getting chores done before sundown, and the like.

Sure they worked hard, and in that perhaps they too struggled with staying in the moment, but I bet they relished the sweet winds that came and cooled them down in summer.  I bet they smiled at the rain that nourished their thirsty crops, and I wonder if they had any other mechanism to wake up other than listening for roosters.  I bet the sounds of the birds were sufficient and could be heard in all their natural sweetness with no traffic to drown them out.

Oh, such a time to harken back to in our mind.  Let’s not forget that all those sounds and actions of nature are still with us today.  The sun can still strike that flag pole and tell us the time if we chose to look at it instead of the digital clock across the street. The wind still blows in the summer, and the rain still quenches our local watersheds and back yard gardens.

We just need to appreciate the simple connections, the natural sounds of birds outside our window, and the myriad of sounds of the world when we stop and listen.

I say it’s ‘time’ to stop, slow down at least, and listen to your heart, listen to the world at 5am, smell the damp earth after a rain, and search the sky at night for what others must have seen even thousands of years ago: the multitude of shining lamps winking at us from beyond.

These small things actually mean a lot.

I stopped worrying about what tomorrow would bring, and about what I did yesterday in favour of creating the best me each day.  I know that if I focus on today, if I focus on right now, I can be better than who I was yesterday, and in doing so, I know I will be better tomorrow.

If every moment is a note, let’s string together such sounds that our life makes the sweetest music, and when more than one person does this, we build an orchestra of such splendid strings of present moments. This magical music of such symphonic majesty will draw others to us, and to the connectedness of each conscious soul in the universe.

Life is ultimately beautiful and perfect just the way it is, in just the right way, when we learn to see it for what it is.

Life simply is.

We simply are.


Our Greatest Journey


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When I think of journeys, I also think of destinations; it’s only natural.  But the greatest journey is the one where our feet can’t take us.  It’s the journey inside.

Some of you can’t physically move, some are in hospitals, or prisons, or afraid of the outdoors, or simply comfortable not journeying. But this kind of journey is available to all of us, no matter where we are, no matter what we are doing.

As a matter of fact, the journey inside can be more exhilarating, more rousing, and significantly more fulfilling as any journey with our feet.

First of all, we don’t need any money.  What a relief.  Everybody can go, no matter of what you own, or don’t own.

Secondly, we get to choose the general direction of where we want to go, and we can change our mind at any time: with no cancellation fees!

Thirdly, we can travel to places we can only imagine.  Any destination we can think up, we can go.  We can be daredevils, acrobatic stunt person, or calm contemplative observer, and no matter what, we are never in danger.


Journeying with our mind allows us to generate a perspective that can question everything that we ‘see’.  It is a speculative perspective. You see, when we ‘see’ something with our eyes, we’ve already applied our mental filter to the image.  It often comes with attached thoughts, like: judgements, associations, feelings, desires, labels, and all sorts of strings that we have learned to attach to all of our imagery.

Using our minds and not our eyes allows us to paint the picture from scratch and understand the layers of colours, images, and textures that we want to apply, and the feeling behind each one.  What colours are in your palette?  What associated thoughts and labels do you attach to the images you apply, and why?  Could you paint an image with your mind and not attach those labels?  What would that look like?

There is so much to be gained by using our minds as a tool to explore, not just our thoughts, not just our mental images and all of the strings we attach to them, but also our behaviours.  When we can become aware of our self and witness our actions, we start to bring those automatic behaviours, our habits, in to consciousness.

When we can do that, bring something from the background of our brain, select it, and bring it forward for a more detailed examination, or simply to observe, we have another chance to detach a label, or shift a perspective, by understanding the attachments that we have to it in the first place.

Looking at the links we have to a behaviour or thought or habit, sometimes looks like uncovering past steps that have been washed over by higher water.  we don’t normally see the intermediate steps that led us to where we are today, unless we tale the time to look deeper.


Let’s look at a practical example: many people have a fear of letting a partner go.  Think about that for a minute.  Letting someone else go that you are in a relationship with.  Does anything about that statement sound ….off?

First of all, we can’t control anyone but ourself.

Secondly, if we have no control over other people, then our fear is irrational.

Thirdly, If our fear is irrational, then it isn’t real.

Lastly, if there is no real fear, then we need not fear the actions of another. Whether they stay or they go is always, and will always be, up to them. We can now let that go.

When we examine this particular insecurity, we can start to uncover our own agreements that might have made us associate our fear of being alone with our own actions.  If I am a better person, stronger, more successful, thinner, with more hair and muscles, smarter, and so on, ad infinitum.

Ahh, so now we begin to understand the real fear lies within us, with our agreements, and beliefs, and previous experiences. Then something wonderful begins to happen. We start to see things from a new perspective.

Our brain starts processing, lessening ties to this irrational fear, sorting our old thoughts and agreements, loosening the ties to previous beliefs.  It starts a process that can actually shift the perspective and substitute old agreements for new ones.  Bit by bit, we start the substitution process.

Sometimes an event can create a snap substitution like BAM!  Just like that.  More often, however, we are in a constant state of substitution, an old belief for a new agreement and only be being consistent with our application do we keep the process moving toward our new thoughts.

Fantastic voyages of our mind.  Inescapable, and constantly whirling around, our mind keeps talking to us, keeping us company.  When we learn to focus our mind like the tool it is, rather than simply listening to it, we can use it to our extreme advantage.

We can foster the ability to image new experiences before they might happen, or before we could ever conceive of them happening.  We can explore the richness of our environment by simply thinking about it, before we apply our minds filter to the images that stream in from our eyes.

We can also begin to become aware of our own behaviours, and observe what we have naturally done in the background, thereby giving us an opportunity to review whether or not we want to continue it or not.  Understand the ties and bonds we have developed with it, and, if we choose, start substituting a new belief or agreement to the action or behaviour.  This is powerful!

When I think about just a few of the fantastic ways our minds can hep us journey to other worlds, better worlds, or help make us better versions of our self, I can’t help but think about what my girlfriend also speaks about.  She started me on the path of visualizing what I wanted in life, and holy smokes, this is a powerful tool! I have manifested so much in just the last couple of years that is absolutely along my path of greatest desire.

This is yet another way to use our mind, but its resultant, or end goal, is only partially within our control. In so much as we create an environment within our mind, this acts like soil to a seed.  A fertile environment for growth, and this is why it’s called co-creating, because soil is only one ingredient.  When we want something in our life, like a partner, wealth, better health, a new career, we can first decide on what we want and create an image.  Then we can set a desire to focus in on this each day.

In this way we provide the mental ‘soil’ and the desire, or ‘seed’, we wish to grow, and the universe comes to our aid to assists us in this regard.  Once a decision is made about what we want, the universe starts working to bring us just that. That’s the other co-creator of our desired that offers our seed the rest of the necessary ingredients for successful growth.

The universe can be whatever you have labelled the sense of something greater than ourselves: God, Gaia, Buddha, Jesus, the Cosmos, the eternal spirit, whatever that is for you, I call it the universe.

If you have heard of Intention and Attention, this is all about that.  Our ‘Intention’ is all about the ‘what’ we want.  It is the direction in the compass of our mind.  Our attention is the fuel we have to get there and the more we think about our goal, the more fuel we give our vehicle to get there; all the while the universe is also rushing to meet us along the path at a moment that we will only experience when it all comes together.

So, you see, I view our mind as an incredibly fantastic, in all the senses of that word, tool that we can earn to use to explore both inner and outer space, our own awareness of our actions and the associated linkages we have fastened to each and every one, and it still has the vast ability to coordinate the energies of the unknown universe to co-create our desired path, with a little work on our side.

I am in awe of what I have just started to pick up!  Every times I become aware of a behaviour, every time I can articulate something that had been merely a gut feeling, a reaction, and unexplained event on my part I get that much more grateful for the awareness that I have fostered and the sheer inspiring fascination with the power of our minds.

My Intention is to have True Seeing.  I want to abandon all of my filters that I have attached to everything I see.  I want to see you just as you are, with no labels or preconceived notions or judgements.

I doing so, I bring my Attention to bear on this as much as possible.  Like a huge onion, every time I witness a behaviour, I examine it, and start peeling away the layers, the covers, the masks of who I am.

What is your Intention?  Desire?  How do you create your focus, your attention?  Do you know what direction you are taking your life?  Are you aware of your current path?

Let me challenge you to this:

Close your eyes. Think of one small thing you would like to change in your life.  Hold it there in your mind’s eye.  Visualize it. Feel it. Can you imagine what that would feel like?  Can you imagine what that would mean to those around you? Now, spend a moment running that film in your mind and playing it as if it has already happened.  Play that tape, live that moment.  then, when you are ready, slowly return to your present moment.  Breathe in and slowly breathe out.  Now, open your eyes and write that one thing down on any piece of paper you have handy.

This is the important part.  Put that piece of paper in your pocket or your purse, and look at it every day.  Look at it every time your remember it.  Focus your energies on it without any doubt.  Try not to attach yourself to the desired outcome, or to a timeline, as it will come when it is ready, at just the right time.  Want to increase the power of this vision? Paste images related to it on a board so you can ‘see’ it every day!

If there is anything that I know, it is this: when we focus our intention with our attention, we create a mental image that is so fertile that the seed of our desire will manifest itself by the hand of the universe.  It will happen.

Over the next while, ponder the big questions in life, then start your journey, this very moment!

Where would you like to journey?

What is your desire in life?

Who are you under all those layers?


You Get What You Give


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This blog, with with all the 100+ articles, comes straight from my experiences in life, and straight from my heart. The thoughts and lessons that I learn and can pass on. It doesn’t mean I am perfect, since I am far from it. But it does mean that I am creating a better version of myself every time I become aware of something new.

I like that.

The site’s address is a play on words.  It could mean ‘a typical hero’, or an ‘atypical hero’ as well. What I focus on mainly is the ability of every single person to realise the vast potential they have within themselves to become a hero.

We must realise that becoming a hero may never reach the point where we become the hero that we envision. You already have a preconceived notion of a hero, don’t you?  But what if we could simply be a kind of hero to another person? To help someone else? To say hello, or even to smile.  Just the acknowledgement of another that may rarely receive it can send a positive message to another, and if they happen to be feeling lonely, or down, or out of sorts, you may just lift them up enough to change their day, or change their life!

Heroic deeds do not have to be grandiose, they merely need to generate a positive energy.  Most, if not all, acts of heroism usually require a sacrifice.  It may be small, as in a smile, or it may be devotion to a cause that strips everything away from that person.

In my articles, I concentrate my lens on the small acts that can change our lives from the inside out.  The small things that we can easily change that can make big differences in other people’s lives.

Few videos capture the essence of this concept like this one.  I am sharing it because I rarely see a good one that uplifts the small acts of kindness we can all perform to make our world better, one person at a time.  Have a look.  I quite like it and it gets me every time.

When you are done watching it, I challenge you to simply sit and think about how you could do one act of generosity, one act of kindness…tomorrow.

Please enjoy.



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